Ok, indrømmet, titlen lyder bedre på engelsk, People are People. Men hold da fast, hvor kan folk dog opføre sig unintelligent. Lad os tage et eksempel : Forestil jer en ny føtex-forretning, der er indrettet så idiotisk at de 2 hundekroge sidder ubrugeligt. Den ene bliver dækket af vogne, så man ikke kan komme til den, og den anden er 40 cm fra hovedindgangen. Det er svært at forestille sig noget så idiotisk i en nybygget butik, men gør forsøget alligevel.
Til denne placering, foretaget af folk der får alzheimers-ramte regnorme til at virke som genier, skal man så lægge et regnvejr. Et rimeligt kraftigt regnvejr. Så er folk jo så bange for en smule vand at de skal stå lige indenfor dørene, og hele tiden stikke hovedet ud for at se om regnen virker ligeså kraftig udenfor som den ser ud når man står hele 20 cm fra døren.
Til det, tilføj så en rar, men meget ung, hund, lad os bare sige en schæferhund. 1.5 år gammel, det vil sige en lidt usikker teenager. Når folk hele tiden stikker hovedet ud ved siden af ham, bliver han en smule vagtsom. Og når man så tilføjer sidste ingrediens i denne idiot-cocktail, nemlig uopdragne børn som forældrene tilsyneladende er ligeglade med, så bliver det perfekt. De skal nemlig løbe ud af døren, stoppe lige udenfor, skrige ‘REGN’, og løbe ind igen. Og gentage dette hvert 10. sekund. Og efter anden gang bliver hunden utryg, og begynder at gø. Ikke aggressivt, men nervøst og utrygt. Så gentager børnene hele processen fra før, eneste forandring er at når de når ud peger de på den utrygge hund, skriger ‘HUND’, og løber ind igen. Det får hunden til at kigge efter dem, mens den gør opmærksom på at den er utryg ved som nævnt at gø. Hvilket fører til at voksne mennesker, der får alkoholpåvirkede dværg-spidsmus til at virke som socialt velfungerende individer, til at råbe ‘HOLD MUND’ til hunden hver gang den gør, hvilket da bestemt ikke får en utryg hund til at holde mund når fremmede, måske truende, folk råber til den.
Da jeg var på vej ud kunne jeg sagtens høre min søde lille hund gø, og da jeg haster ud til ham hører jeg (denne gang tæt på) en mand råbe ‘HOLD KÆFT’ til hunden. Jeg siger til ham at det ikke hjælper at starte en råbe-konkurrence med en hund, og responsen var selvfølgelig ‘Hvad kommer det dig ved?’. Atter dejligt at se at manerer var noget Emma Gad, ingen andre gider idag. Han var dog fornuftig nok til at tie da jeg sagde at det faktisk var min hund.
Alt dette bringer mit til det tredje bud, som er : Boykot dårligt indrettede butikker.
Og det fjerde, som er : Du skal altid opfordre idioter til at forblive barnløse.
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People are people. But I am amazed at how much idiocy can be displayed in everyday situations. For example : Imagine a new grocery store, with the 2 hooks for dogs placed VERY poorly. One hook is completely covered by the rack that holds shopping carts, and hence inaccessible, while the other is placed around 40 cm/1 foot from the main entrance. I know it is hard to imagine something as stupid as that in a brand new building, but try anyway.
To this poor placing, made by people who can make an alzheimer-stricken earthworm seem like a true genius, add rain. Quite powerful rain, even. Most modern people fear the rain, obviously, so they need to stand just inside the doors, constantly poking out their heads to see if the rain is as poweful as it looks when they stand those 20 cm from the doorway.
Now, add a very friendly, but quite young, dog. A german shephard, for example. Or Alsacian, if you prefer that name. A year and a half old, which means he is a teenager, and we all know teens sometimes act a bit insecure. When people constantly make their heads appear and disappear next to him, he starts being a bit alert, not sure of what is happening. Add the last ingredient in this moron-cocktail, namely misbehaved kids, with whom the parents want as little to do with as possible, and everything is perfect. These kids absolutely HAVE to run out the door, stop right outside, scream ‘RAIN’, and run back in again instantly. This is of course repeated every 10 seconds. After the second time a kid runs out and screams next to him, only to run away again, the dog becomes quite insecure and starts barking. Not aggressively, but to show he is a bit wary of the entire situation. This of course prompts the kids to keep repeating the process, the only change being that every time they come out they point a finger at the dog, screaming ‘DOG’, before vanishing inside again. Of course repeated again and again. This makes the dog keep an eye on the kids, while it keeps notifying people that it feels insecure by barking. This again leads to a situation where adults, who manage to make alcohol intoxicated shrews seem like socially adept individuals, to scream ‘SHUT UP’ at the dog every time it barks, which definetly won’t make any insecure dog keep quiet. Strangers, who might appear a bit threathening, isn’t good at calming down a nervous dog, for some reason.
As I approached the exit, I could easily hear my puppy bark, and as I hastened out to the poor animal, I passed a man who felt the urge to scream ‘SHUT UP’ to him. I told him, as I passed, that starting a shouting contest wasn’t the best way to make a dog keep quiet, and the response was, not to my surprise, ‘What business of yours is that?’. It is so reassuring to see that kids of today get their lack of manners from the best role-models : Adults. I have to admit, though, that this particular adult was wise enough to shut up when I told him it was my business as it was my dog.
All this brings me to the third commandment, which is : Boycut poorly designed stores.
And the fourth, which is : Always recommend idiots to avoid having kids.